Tug Forum

Fun & Games => Jokes => : manxman February 04, 2009, 08:32:07

: Consultants !
: manxman February 04, 2009, 08:32:07
 A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization:

 Last week, my wife and I took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,'
 and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

 This seemed a little strange,
 and when the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

 When I looked around, I saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
 When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why do all the staff carry a spoon ?'

 'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes.
 After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil.
 It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.

 If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

 As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare.
 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.
 'I was impressed and also mentioned how delicious the soup was.

 When the waiter returned to collect the empty dishes, I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly !.

 Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
 So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter,
 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string there?'

 'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice.
 'Not everyone's observant.
 That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.

 By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what,
 we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands,
 shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76%.

 I asked quietly, 'After you've finished, how do you put it back?'

 'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.' !   :o

: Re: Consultants !
: tugs53 February 04, 2009, 08:36:36
Brilliant ;D ;D ;D

Oh...and Congrats on your 500th post manxman :) :)

I always look forward to your contributions on the forum,.....and your humour!!

: Re: Consultants !
: FLJ February 04, 2009, 09:16:16
My favourite definition of a consultant (well, my favourite clean one....) is a guy who borrows your watch to tell you the time, and then keeps it.
: Re: Consultants !
: TugMaster February 04, 2009, 10:40:56
Very Funny  ;D ;D ;D

 :o Manxman is catching up with me  :o