Author Topic: Friday Humour  (Read 35155 times)

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tugs53

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #15 on: April 17, 2009, 05:03:10 »
MIKE

Model Tug Man

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #16 on: April 17, 2009, 05:17:48 »
This is from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour (Larry The Cable Guy):

I wuz watchin the news some time ago and wuz suprized to see a report on some femail teachers takin liberties their mail students. And these two young teachers wuz hot. It's funny that this happened to my cuzin too just a while back. Specially since he waz home schooled and all.
VGJQ

Todd

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #17 on: April 23, 2009, 05:22:05 »
Three men,an Englishman, a Scot and an Irishman,were stranded on a desert island for 2years after being shipwrecked.Every day they did a tour of their domain beach-combing to see if anything useful had been washed ashore overnight. One day they found a beer bottle which still appeared to have it`s contents intact,they cleaned off the weed etc., and rushed to the nearest rock where they un-capped it.
There was a clap of thunder,a cloud of smoke and standing there was a very dis-shevelled Genie who,as soon as he got his bearings,began to explain his position.He had been stuck in that bottle for hundreds of years and every time anyone found it and saw it was a bottle of Bass they threw it back.He was so glad to finally be free he would grant the three a wish each,which under`Genie Union`rules was all he was allowed to grant at one time,but being so very grateful he said they could `pad them out`a bit.

They decided they had nothing to lose and the Englishman went first,"I would like to be home with my wife and family,have a nice big house in St Johns Wood and a quarter of a million pounds in the bank"
There was a CLAP of thunder and he had disappeared.

The remaining two seeing that there was some truth in the Genie`s words tossed up to see whom would be next...Jock won."I would like to be in Bonny Scotland on a Saturday night with a bottle of 25year old Malt whisky in each hand and because I don`t trust Banks a half a million pounds in a brief case chained to my wrist.
There was a CLAP of thunder and he disappeared.

It came to Paddy`s turn.He stood for a while scratching his head and finally said "Sure it`s going to be lonely here on my own I wish my two mates were back" CLAP CLAP
« Last Edit: May 03, 2009, 02:28:49 by Todd »
Capt Jim

sea.mariner

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #18 on: May 01, 2009, 05:37:17 »
A quote from the other forum ;

my wife rang me up to say, she is scared to go to the garage to fill up the car, because of this swine flue.
I told her don't be silly, its from Mexico   not Texaco...

 ;D ;D ;D
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sea.mariner

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #19 on: May 01, 2009, 05:39:36 »
And the possible remedy for Swine-Flu ?
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tugs53

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #20 on: May 01, 2009, 07:16:04 »
Don't you just love Friday's ;D ;D ;D
MIKE

Todd

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #21 on: May 02, 2009, 00:45:20 »
I know it is not Friday,Sorry Lads,I must have crossed the date-line the wrong way.
As the theme is going this way I had to add my `twopenny worth`.
Capt Jim

Footski

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #22 on: May 08, 2009, 03:27:51 »
Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill
the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.


Barry

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #23 on: May 09, 2009, 09:29:21 »
 ;D ;D

Just told SHMBO and   :-[ she is not a blonde but took some explanation

Model Tug Man

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #24 on: May 11, 2009, 08:35:52 »
So it's Blonde jokes now. Pity this is a family forum:

What do you call an intelligent blonde?
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A Golden Retriever!!!!!!!!!!!!
VGJQ

xtian29

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #25 on: May 11, 2009, 09:32:40 »
Hello MTM



A+ Xtian

TugMaster

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #26 on: May 11, 2009, 12:27:05 »
I missed Friday, so here's mine.......

What's a rednecks chat up line ?
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 .....you awake sis !
« Last Edit: May 11, 2009, 13:12:53 by TugMaster »
Ok, so I like a drop !

Sudbury II

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #27 on: May 11, 2009, 16:34:16 »
  Oh My..................
"Suds"

Model Tug Man

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #28 on: May 12, 2009, 08:57:16 »
I missed Friday, so here's mine.......

What's a rednecks chat up line ?
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 .....you awake sis !

To that end, is it appropriate for you to allow your 12 year old daughter to smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids???????????
VGJQ

sea.mariner

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Re: Friday Humour
« Reply #29 on: May 22, 2009, 04:40:18 »
Well it doesn't have to be a Friday for my joke ;

The Moderators over at modelboatmayhem  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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